(no subject)

[agoodmusekickin]

It'd been a long day and all Bing wanted to do was quiet her mind down so she could get some sleep. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary as she ascended the stairs to her converted-attic bedroom. The rest of the house was quiet having long since fallen asleep by the time she got up off her ass and actually shut down her laptop. As with most New England houses the light switch to her bedroom was actually outside the room itself, so as she passed it she flicked it on, filling the room with light. She was already mid-step over the threshhold when what she saw had hit her brain, but by then it was too late, there was already a hand covering her mouth.

Seated in her rolling desk chair was a person-sized turtle with his three fingered hands steepled on his lap. The hand covering her mouth was also three-fingered and green. In the time it takes for her brain to process just how much trouble she's in, her bedroom door is closed and she's he's seated on the basket at the end of her bed.

"You got some massive explainin' to do."
"Aww come on Raph. I thought I was going to play the Bad Cop this time!"
There's a long suffering sigh before Raph concedes. "Fine, have it your way, but we ain't gettin' any younger here."
"You've got some massive explainin' to do", says Mike grinning from the chair in what can only be called a pitch perfect impression of his brother.

It's all Bing can do to not burst out laughing.

"If you ain't gonna be serious 'bout this..."
"No I am! I totally am! Promise."
Raph eyes Mike one more time before retreating to the bookcase by the door. Every now and again he gives the porcelain statues a withering glare.

"So...Donnie tells us that you've been pretending to be us on the internets."

"I...yes?" stammers Bing.

"How's that going for you?"

"Um...okay? I mean...I'm not making any money off of it or anything, if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh yeah, because money's going to be our biggest problem with what...." Raph interjects, until Mikey begins his whine. At which point Raph merely throws up his hands in frustration.

"We're just kind of concerned as to, well....why."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time?" she says weakly.

Mike ponders this for a moment or two, hand coming up to stroke at an entirely imaginary beard.
"Works for me."

"What?! Are you freakin' kiddin' me? She's spent the last four freakin' years pretendin' to be us! She's guilty of using the worst fan fiction tropes to make a laughin' stock outta the both of us!"

"Raph's a little steamed about the bit where you turned him into a panda," Mike explains by way of a stage whisper.

"A FREAKIN' PANDA? WHAT THE HELL?!"

"It...it was funny!" she says, finding a bit of spine hidden somewhere amongst the cowering and confusion.

"Oh so that makes it okay?"

"Well....yeah," respond both Mike and Bing at the same time. Each turning simultaneously to grin at the other.

"And besides," she continued. "When did you become such an expert on fanfiction?"

"Ooooh good point."

"Whose side are you on?!"

"Hey, thanks to her I'm not only human, cute, and getting laid on a regular basis with a comic book hottie."

"And there's a very good chance he's going to get a giant riding chicken soon," pipes in Bing.

"Dude! Really? That's super sweet! Hey Raph, can we live in that universe? I'm not sleeping with dinosaurs and having kids in that one..."

"Focus, Mikey. Focus!"

"Sorry."

"Look, I'm sorry if I've offended you with the stuff I wrote. I was just trying to kill some time while at work. I really didn't mean to piss anyone off, I just kind of figured...well...I've been fans of you guys for years and there's so much that's never explored in your book that I really wanted to try. Not to mention that since Eastman and Laird broke up your stories have been kind of inconsistent and more often than not....crappy. I just thought you deserved better, that's all."

"An' you thought Zach Braff was some how better?" sneers Raph, crossing his arms over his plastron.

"Okay, you've got me there. That was a big mistake. I should have used Lombardozzi from the get go."

Mike fights back laughter.

"Oh yeah, real funny Stoner-From-Clueless."

"What? I can't complain, she's got me totally pegged!"

"All I wanna know is why Leo an' Don don't gotta put up with this kinda abuse."

"I never could get my head around them, so I farmed them out to a friend of mine. If...if it's any consolation me and the girl who plays Leo are pretty sure he's gay."

They booth look at each other, then back at Bing. The laughter is deafening.

"You might just be a'right, kid. You might just be a'right."